Self Care

Everyday Self Care – Beyond Manicures and Affirmations

Everyday self care is all the shit you should be doing for yourself, but you don’t. Or at least not regularly. And it’s definitely not all about the fluffy stuff on social media. 

Sure, I love taking long soaks in the tub as much as the next girl. And going on girl weekends to the spa. But everyday self care is so much more than pampering yourself. 

Everyday self care is taking better care of yourself on so many more levels than your physical looks. You need to get your mind and body on the same page. As well as align them with your goals. 

Let’s Start with Sleep

Sleep Self Care

I love a good night’s sleep. Like I mean a good sleep. That sleep where you wake up, and you’re ready to take on the world. But it’s only been recently that the kids have decided to sleep in their own rooms. And I can finally get a good night’s sleep. 

I have put in my dues during the “newborn stage.” And the middle of the night wake-ups and the “Can I sleep with you mommy’s.” So now I am a bit more selfish with my sleep. Yes, that includes not sleeping in the same room as my husband. {You can insert your shocked emoji in here}. Not that I need to justify it, but he snores, he tosses and turns. And best of all turns on his iPad when he can’t sleep and watches a movie. Which wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t laugh during it and shake the whole bed. 

I am not saying you have to go to the extremes that I do. But you should develop a nighttime routine that puts you in a better place for a restful night’s sleep. 

How to Develop a Nighttime Routine

Sleep doesn’t start with your head on a pillow. It starts hours before. Everyone is different, and one generic sleep routine is not going for everyone. I have found that I can’t workout past 6pm. I end up getting too energized and can’t fall asleep until midnight. Figure out what works for you and stick with it. Here are some common sleep routine tips.

Next, Your Health

Physical self care is all about taking care of your body to live a full, long life. 

Move your body daily. 

Yes daily. It doesn’t matter how. Walking, jogging, skipping, yoga, or whatever. Try to develop a daily exercise routine that works for your lifestyle. Make your workout routine sustainable and realistic for your time commitments. But challenge yourself. You don’t have to sign up for a 5k to challenge yourself. You can challenge yourself by increasing the distance, pace, or number of reps you do. If the gym bores you to death, try something new. 

Fuel your body with real food

You don’t need a health coach to tell you that you shouldn’t eat chips every day. You know what you should be eating and what you shouldn’t. But if it would help to make healthier food choices, then seek out help from a professional. 

Eating healthy is not rocket science. The problem might be that you don’t know how to cook healthier food choices. And I get it, we were not all blessed with moms who loved to cook from scratch and taught us everything they knew. 

But we can’t keep blaming our parents for shit. 

Solution: Learn to cook the food you like to eat. 

If a master chef couldn’t make a kale salad taste good in your eyes. Then you won’t do any better. So, don’t bother. Find something else. Take a cooking lesson or watch a youtube video to get started. 

No time for cooking? Then sign up for a meal prep service. I bet you were paying the same amount going through the drive-through every day. 

Keep in mind, if you have been eating like shit for years, nothing is going to taste good. Your body is going to have to get used to your new food choices. Give it time. Yes, I mean more than a week.

Get Regular Check-up’s

This is all on you. No one is forcing you to go for a regular pap smear. But you should. Regular checkup ups to the doctor, dentist, or eye doctor are an essential part of taking care of yourself. I get it. Doctor visits can be an added expense if you don’t have a good health plan. So do what you can. Make it a priority. And don’t put it off, because you don’t want to spread eagle in front of a doctor.

I read a heartbreaking story on Instagram about a woman’s mom who had died of breast cancer. The mom had felt a lump in her breast years before, but never got it checked out because she was afraid. This story hit home for me. You have to be your own health advocate. No matter how scary it is. 

Take your vitamins 

I am not a doctor, so I am not going to pretend to know what kind of vitamins to recommend to you. So when you make your checkup appointment, ask your doctor. But the key to getting the benefits of taking vitamins is to take them regularly. Develop a habit of taking them. Set reminders on your phone. Try taking them with an activity, like eating breakfast. Or get one of those handy pillboxes to help you get started. 

Financial Self Care 

The best thing you can do for yourself is to take care of your financial health. Don’t rely on others for your financial well being. Don’t assume your partner has it handled. Like every other type of self care, you need to make financial self care a priority in your life. 

Start by asking yourself, how does money make you feel? Do you have a good relationship with money? Does money make you feel abundant, or does it stress you out? Hiding your head in the sand and allowing others to take care of your financial health isn’t right. 

If you are having negative feelings about money, then explore ways you can change your money mindset. Start by learning to be mindful of your spending. And create financial goals for yourself and your family. 

I get it financial planning and analysis is hard. And that is why there are financial specialists who can provide ways to manage money that works for you. 

Financial Self Care Activities

YOU CAN DO TODAY

  • Spend less than you make
  • Save for your future.
  • Have an emergency fund
  • Build credit in your own name
  • Have “fun money” that you can spend on yourself 
  • Review your spending habits regularly
  • Develop a budget and review it often.
  • Research money management tips
  • Set up a meeting with a financial advisor

Spiritual Self Care

mind self care

Spiritual self care is going to look different for everyone. And I urge you to explore what that looks like for you. But whether you are religious or spiritual, you can benefit from taking care of your mind and spirit. 

Try these simple mental health Self Care Activities.

Meditation

Everyone suggestions meditation when they talk about relaxation. And sure it can help, but what meditation is fantastic for is helping you be present in the moment. It helps us to stop worrying about the future and celebrate everything in the present moment. 

Mindfulness

Be mindful of your of what you allow into your life. Try unplugging and connect with real people instead of consuming social media. 

Get clear on your Core Values

Core values are your internal compass. When you get clear on your core values, you make better decisions about your mind, body, and spirit.

Check out this post on how you can define your core values. 

Emotional Self Care

We all have emotions. But some of us are better than others when it comes to dealing with them. We have events in our past, or people in our lives dictate how we react to our emotions. 

Now is the time to start standing up for ourselves and do what works for us. 

Learn to feel

So often we mask our emotions. We do everything in our power to not feel them. We drown them in booze or distract ourselves with work until one day we can’t anymore. All because we didn’t let ourselves feel. It’s a shitty feeling to be hurt, angry, or sad. I get it. But when we get into the habit of not feeling our emotions, we also stop feeling the happy ones too. And that’s a shitty way to live.

So the next time an emotion comes up. Name it. 

I am angry

I am sad 

I am happy

I am blah

You get it. Write it down in a journal or talk to someone about it. 

For some of us who had emotionally neglectful parents, this is going to be hard. Because we are pros at hiding and running away from our feelings. We have been doing it for so long we don’t know anything else. We never had an emotional role model to show us how to feel and deal with our emotions. But that is not an excuse.

This is an excellent book to get you started.

Learn to say NO

Learning how to say NO is about learning to stand up for yourself. It’s learning to say “No, I don’t want to be treated that way” and “No, I don’t want to do that.”

When we say Yes to others when we really want to say No. We are telling ourselves that that person’s needs and wants are more important than ours. And when we keep doing this, we start to believe that our needs are not that important. 

I am not saying that you are never going to do something you don’t want to do. That’s unrealistic. What I am saying is to be mindful of your YESs and make sure they are in line with your core values. 

That is the only way you aren’t going to feel used or resentful. 

As a mom, I often do stuff I don’t want to do. One of my core values is family, and I don’t regret any of my YESs. Those YESs service my family unit. 

But I also say NO to a lot of family stuff as well. This summer I said “NO” to a family vacation. Yup, that’s right, sent my husband and kids on vacation without me. Because I wanted to work on organizing my life before school started. People told me that I should suck it up and go. That what I wanted didn’t matter, and if I didn’t want to get divorced, I should go. I still said NO. And I don’t regret it one bit. You need to trust your gut and find a balance that works for you. 

I hope this blog post has helped you realize that there is more to self care than manicures and fluffy affirmations. A spa weekend is a great way to feel momentarily better. But taking care of your sleep, your health, your finances, your emotions, and your spirit will make you feel better every day. 

I covered a lot of different self care topics that I hope you explore more on your own and let me know in the comments below any struggles you may be having.

Other Self Care Posts

Everyday Self Care Journal Prompts

What does self care mean to me? 

What can I do to take better care of myself today? This month, this year? 

What are some of my bad habits?

What are some of my good habits? 

What are some of my struggles about self care? 

What hobbies do I enjoy? 

What is something I can say no to that would make my life better? 

What is my ideal self care routine? 

What activities do I find relaxing? 

What activities energize me? 

What activities in my life do I dislike? 

What brings me joy? 

If I only had 15 mins for myself in a day, what would I do? 

What could I do to simplify my life? 

What activities do I like to do outside? How can I get out more? 

What are some books I would like to read? 

List a few local places you have been meaning to check out but haven’t yet? Make a plan to go to one in the next few weeks. 

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    • Diane
    • Diane
    • Diane

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